Religion is Bullshit

I spent most of my life feeling unloved and unwanted. I had a very unhealthy self esteem, and thought I didn’t deserve, and would never have love. This led me through various paths of trying to seek that love. I tried boys, excelling in academics, throwing myself at men, and self help. Eventually, I was drawn to the christian religion.

My family did not bring me up in a religious home. But there were Sundays here and there where my mother wanted a break, so she sent us kids off on the church bus. So I had been familiar with the basics. I understood the religion to be one of love, but I have found out since that is not the whole truth. In fact, it is far removed from the truth.

When I first came to the religion I wanted nothing more than to please God. So I read my bible about six hours a day. The more I read the more I realized something was not quite right. In one verse in particular Jesus states, “The people draw near to me with their mouth, and honor me with their lips, but their heart is far from me. In vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrine the commandments and traditions of men.” Matthew 15:8-9. This led me to wonder what those commandments and traditions of men were, so I began to seek. After all, the bible says seek and ye shall find. And boy did I find out a whole lot of shit.

The first thing I came across was the commandments. The Catholic Church removed the second commandment completely. Meaning it became okay to have idols. Even christian churches have idols. Ever seen the man hanging on the cross above the pastor’s podium? Think about it. Ever wear a cross around your neck? You are no better than those bowing to the statues of Mary. Anything you have that resembles what Jesus may look like, crosses on your wall, etc are a complete breaking of the second commandment. I threw all my stuff away.

Next I found that the fourth commandment was changed by the Catholic Church. They wanted you to still keep the day holy, but they changed which day that was. Rather than the seventh day, Saturday, they hold services on Sunday. And it doesn’t matter what you tell the Sunday going Christians, because they simply say, “God knows my heart.” You bet he does, I thought. And your heart should be to remove anything considered an idol, and to remove yourself from churches and keep the sabbath at home. So that is what we did. Some of the most boring Saturdays of our lives, but we pressed on.

The more I learned the more heartbroken I became. For next I wondered what traditions Jesus was speaking of. I mean I loved Jesus very much, and wouldn’t want to worship in vain. So I kept moving forward, ever learning, ever giving things up, ever feeling less than good enough. Well, you know how everyone always says they want to put Christ back in Christmas? He was never there. Christmas traditions are pagan in nature, and started as a winter solstice. They burnt their children to the sun god, RA, on yule logs for 12 days. There are twelve months in the year, and December is the darkest. They wanted to make sure the sun would come back for their crops. So they appeased it. Not to mention lying is an abomination to God, and you lie to your children telling them there is a Santa, and reindeer, etc.

Easter has nothing to do with the resurrection of Christ, either. Ever wondered why we use eggs and bunnies in celebration? It was a tribute to Ishtar, the goddess of fertility. So we gave up Easter, and on it went.

I had stopped smoking marijuana for quite some time at that point. But over the course of time my head became so full of voices. Many called, few chosen. I was so afraid. The more I learned about this religion and its God the more I had to give up. And I felt so guilty for what I couldn’t give up. I felt doomed to burn an eternal death in the hell.

I wanted to die. I became suicidal for the first time in my life. I began locking myself in the bathroom at night while everyone was sleeping. I wold smoke weed until the voices hushed enough for me to fall asleep, and not kill myself that particular night. And I pressed forward afraid not to scream what I learned to the rest of the world. Because the bible always tells me to spread the word. So I did.

I alienated people I love. I found out that the christian God’s love comes at a high price, and is not at all unconditional. In fact, it is THEE most conditional love you will ever work to obtain. He is never fucking satisfied. You a worthless in his eyes, and nothing you can do is ever good enough.

Over time I continued to learn. I learned that Constantine is responsible for the bible we have today, and the reason some books were left out. I found out that many of the christian practices were pagan; down to the fish symbolism that represented age of Pisces. Which shouldn’t surprise anyone who knows their history, because Constantine believed in Mithra, and mixed his traditions in with his new found Christianity. And if any of the books were found lacking he threw them out. Google the council of Nicaea.

I found the bible contradicts itself over a hundred times. And if the bible is proven to be a simple book full of error what about the religion? And if the religion is proven false what does that say about their God?

But I tarried on learning and learning and growing ever more mad through the fear. Eventually the anger replaced the fear, and I am now at a place where I find peace in other things. But not in religion and not in any god.

Religion is very geographical. Had I been born in China no doubt my parents would have taught me Buddhism, and I would have became a Buddhist, because after all my parents are people I can trust. And I would have made my own children practice Buddhist traditions. Same goes had I been born in the Middle East. I would today worship Allah. And India I would be a Hindu. But because I was born in America I was taught about Jesus. Family cycles are a curse. From abuse to religion the traditions are carried out, over and again, until finally someone uses common sense and reason, which if you believe in God must be God given. Why in the hell wouldn’t he want you to use it?

Christians in particular use the bible like a buffet. They pick and choose which parts they want to follow. The are hypocritical. Jesus said let all who follow him forsake everything, including parents, wives, children, and follow him. He said to give away all you own, and have no place to lay your head. Jesus said if you lust after a woman with your eyes you should pluck them out, and if your right hand offends you cut it off. See any Christians doing these things? Not any I know. They’ll tell you it’s metaphorical, and you need to say a prayer to ask Jesus into your heart. Where in the fucking bible does it say that? NOWHERE. The sinners prayer is NOT biblical.

Needless to say I am no longer a Christian, and firmly believe it can be harmful to our society if religion interferes with state. There must be a clear separation between the two. I do not need the Ten Commandments on a courthouse to remind not to kill. I do not need a God who is more evil and sinister than any human I’ve ever met to tell me what is right and wrong.

You know it really make you question things when the innocent sense of justice in your child questions God. And all Christians say don’t question God, his ways are higher than your ways, and his thoughts higher than your thoughts. And even the atrocities in the book are okay, because God committed them. He is good even when we don’t understand it.

This is a God who dashed infants against stones, condoned the rape and slaughter of innocent victims, ripped fetuses from the wombs of their mothers, commanded bears to attack and kill children who made fun of a man for being bald, and whose wrath most of America welcomes. And when my daughter says, “Mom, why would God kill innocent babies?” I cannot just tell her what most Christians tell their children.

If I go murder my entire town does it make it okay if I said God told me to do it? Why then, is it okay for the people of the bible to write the same exact words down in a book and you believe it? You wouldn’t believe it if anyone walked up and said that to you today. You would laugh and mock them. But you believe what MAN wrote down thousands of years ago, and it is NO different than today.

Here is why I refuse to continue teaching my children Christianity:

You teach your child when they are born that they are not good enough. You teach them that because of all their horrid sinful shortcomings they need a Savior. You tell them this Savior loves them so much he died as a sacrifice, but the truth is...he didn't sacrifice anything. I mean, he isn't dead, right? He is in a better place, next to the right hand of the Father. So yes, he suffered on the cross, but he was rewarded greatly for doing so, according to your holy book.

But you teach your children this. And they feel as if they are not good enough without Jesus. So they eventually, through the trust they place in you, accept this as fact. Then you teach them that this same Savior who loves them so much is sick of their sin, so he is going to come back one day real fucking pissed off with fire and brimstone. There will be earthquakes and famine and horrors you cannot imagine.

You create a low self esteem and a fear that is unexplainable. A fear that made a mother slice the throats of her two children to spare them the wrath of this fucking god. A fear that made a mother suffocate her six old son to spare him the wrath of this fucking god. A fear that made a grown ass 70 year old man jump five stories to his death, because he believed in the wrath of this god. And you wonder then why atheists take on things such as this?

Today I am happy to say that I don’t need to believe in God to be good. In fact, it was harder to do the right thing when I thought God was watching. The temptation of doing anything taboo was too much. Now I don’t have that problem. Odd, don’t you think?

It is human nature to desire things. It is not the christian place to tell you whether them things are sinful or not. I say just get up everyday, and give your best. And be okay with your best. Let what will be…just be.

If you struggle with negativity or other issues use replacement through therapy, or if your case is severe enough seek medical help. Leave the rules and regulations of religion behind. For the son of God found in the christian religion does not set you free. Rather, you will find more chains to bind you than ever before.

Think about this, wouldn't the fact that Jesus predicted his second coming to happen BEFORE those standing before him tasted of death make him a false prophet? The bible states that you know if someone is from God by whether or not what they say comes to pass. And Jesus DID say he would come back BEFORE some standing there were dead. They’ve been dead over 2000 years now. I bet they’re pissed.

RELIGION and DOGMA and FUNDAMENTALISTS are ALL wrong. It isn't about the damn rules...sigh. If more people stopped focusing on the rules and just learned to love each other the world might be a better place. But GOD FORBID that happen. Because religion says when the world unites it’s a sign of the end. It’s always a sign of the end.

And why would you want to worship a God who accepts child molesters and murderers in the name of his son, but won’t accept a good moral person who didn’t believe? I would rather burn in hell with good moral people, than to spend an eternity with child molesters and thieves.

Sigh...the wrath of god. Why is this damn god so angry all the time? Please, tell me? He knows everything from beginning to end, so you say, right? Then he knew Lucifer would fall. He knew he would take a third of the angels. He knew when he formed me in my mother's womb whether I was prepared for heaven or hell. Why bother creating me if only for hell? To be a pawn in the game of good and evil? Makes no sense.

Makes no sense to allow so many religions and holy books that are anything but good. Have you ever actually read your bible? It is what finally made me stop claiming religion, and move over to agnostic. If god is just he cannot truly place anyone in hell. For fucks sake I did not ask him to form me in my mother's womb. Why do I get punished for using the common sense, brains, and logic he supposedly gave me? Either he was bored one day and we suffer the consequence, or he isn't real. Your call.

And yes God did break his own commands. He told them do not kill and then he killed and commanded them to kill. He told them do not steal but then commanded them to pillage the places they took over once all the men were killed and virgin women claimed. So what does he expect us to do?

And I am sick and tired of people saying America is a christian nation. NO WE ARE NOT! The founding fathers were victims of religious tyranny, and founded America for freedom from religion. You have the right to believe whatever you want. But don’t you dare put it in our schools, courthouses, etc. It’s just plain wrong.

God was not part of America until 1954, when it was added to the pledge of allegiance. In fact, the treaty of Tripoli states that the United States was "in no sense founded on the Christian religion". That in no sense was an idle statement. They said it and meant it. It was written under George Washington and signed under the Presidency of John Adams.

Thomas Jefferson cut out parts of the bible he didn’t like or believe and made up his own bible. The founding fathers were deists, not Christians.

And sometimes, I wonder if Christianity is not the deception that fooled the people of the world.

For today I end with a Thomas Jefferson quote:

“The day will come when the mystical generation of Jesus by the Supreme Being in the womb of a virgin, will be classed with the fable of the generation of Minerva in the brain of Jupiter.”